Vamos: Raising Confident Kids in Kenya

Like many of you, I'm still reeling from the bizarre incident of 7 teenage girls from Nairobi who were rescued from what is supposedly a sex trafficking ring. The young girls were lured through social media and this has sparked a conversation on how to raise assertive kids who are capable of averting peer pressure.

Assertiveness builds up kids' confidence, self-esteem, and ability to form and maintain stronger relationships.

Kids with positive self-esteem feel confident and capable of making good decisions. They value themselves and their abilities. They're proud of the things they can do and want to try their best.

When kids are confident and secure about who they are, they're more likely to have a growth mindset. That means they can motivate themselves to take on new challenges and cope with and learn from mistakes. They're also more likely to stand up for themselves and ask for help when they need it.

Here are some tips to help you raise assertive kids/teens

Keep the lines of communication open. Let your kids know you're always there to listen and talk to them about what's happening in their life.

Build up their confidence by trusting them to make good choices. Show them you have faith in their ability to make decisions.

Show interest in getting to know their friends. If feasible, Invite their friends over for lunch or to hang out with your kids in your own home.

Encourage your kids to do a range of activities and meet new people. Having friends in different settings can take the pressure off trying to fit in with a single friendship group.

Try to keep an open mind. Let them know they can talk to you about things even when it might make you uncomfortable or it challenges you.

Understand the strong pull your kids have toward spending time with their peers. If you can, allow them enough freedom to explore these friendships and try not to take it personally when they don't agree with you about their friends.

Pick your battles. Don't stress over the small things like changes in the way they dress but take the time to talk about the big things that pose the most risks. By not focusing on the small stuff they might be more open to hearing about the big stuff.

Teach kids about peer pressure so they are aware of what's happening to them. Help them understand what peer pressure looks like and how to handle it in the moment.

Help them find balance in their life. Teach them how having friends is important but so is being true to oneself and expressing your own individuality.

Set realistic boundaries with your kids. For example, if you can't stop them being friends with people you don't approve of, you could try negotiating where and when they hang out with their new friends.

Come up with a plan so they can get out of tricky situations. For example, before attending a party, you both agree that they will text you to pick them up if they feel uncomfortable or want to leave.

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Where to Find Help in Kenya

A great place to find help in raising confident, assertive kids in Kenya is (VAMOS). VAMOS is an acronym for Voice And Movement On Stage and it's a program designed to raise children's confidence, self-expression, team-building and leadership skills, while also developing oral communication and literacy skills.

VAMOS is committed to offering creative mentorship to kids & teens in Kenya through poise, confidence & expression.

This no-judgement space allows for free expression and doesn't stifle kids' & teens creative spirit. If you'd like your kids/ teens to be mentored by a fun, non-preachy team, VAMOS is worth checking out.