It’s surprising what random Google searches can uncover. No I don’t have a lot of time on my hands; I just have a really cool job . Here is an array of products that were recently or are currently on sale on amazon.com. What were these people thinking?
10| Baby shower cap
Yes for real. Aren’t baby products mild? Why would a baby need protection from their baby shampoo?
9| To-do-list temporary tattoo
It’s the 21st century, cell phones have note pads. But no, someone has found a more “stylish” and organized way to write a to-do-list on the palm of your hand than just directly writing on it- like people do that anymore. Really stupid.
8| 2-in-1 knife and fork
You just use the side of the fork in a rocking motion to cut. Guess its bright inventor didn’t think past that plate action. Wouldn’t you cut the sides of your mouth while biting? Does it really take that much effort to use a fork and a knife separately to warrant this absurd invention?
7| Alarm clock with words
For the very affordable price of $664 this clock tells time with illuminated words. There’s no single number on it. For that price I’m hoping it comes with a bed-making option next to the snooze button.
6| Arm work-out beer mug
It comes with a spring loaded hand exerciser. You can enjoy your favourite beer while working on the guns. Yay!
5| Nose gel dispenser
Who wouldn’t like the thought of boogers and bloody noses (if you use red shower gel) every time they took a shower? Perfect. I get it, this is wacky and funny. But mostly it’s just plain GROSS!!!!!!!!!
4| 32 K –as in thirty two thousand- piece puzzle
“To keep you occupied during those rainy days!” it claims. Well makes sense, if you’re Noah and can’t get out of the damn ark! Or if you have no school, a job or a life!
3| Boyfriend pillow
For all the lonely girls (and some boys) out there, this is for you. That’s if the comforts of your psych ward include being able to order online. It comes with a removable shirt. Like there’s a pillow with a non-removable pillowcase. That’s what the shirt is, right?
2| Bacon toothpaste
Take your love for bacon to another level by enjoying bacon fresh breath all day and/or all night with this toothpaste. There are obviously people who love bacon that much.
It’s hard to believe but there’s actually an invention I found more absurd than bacon toothpaste.
1| Bluetooth phone handset gloves
These turn your hand into a phone. You just put them on, press the “answer” button; make the classic “phone hand” shape and start talking. First, people around you would think you’ve lost it. And why? Why would you use your hand for a hands-free capability??? Why not just use your hand. For free!