October is Infant loss and Miscarriage awareness month.
In Kenya, October 15 is the designated pregnancy loss awareness day. The day is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils, concluding with the Lights of Love International Wave of Light, a worldwide lighting of candles that encompasses and spans the globe at 7:00 p.m. (local time).
Now in its 16th year, the infant loss and miscarriage week calls for tangible improvements in research, care and policy around bereavement support, while highlighting bereavement support and services available for anyone affected by the death of a baby at any stage.
In honor of the angels we never get to meet, we reflect on how to cope with a miscarriage.
  • Dealing with Feelings of guilt-miscarriage is something that happened to you, not something you did. There's very little about pregnancy loss that women are in control of.
  • Would be dads should be provide emotional support. It's hard for both parties but harder for the would have been mum.
  • Join a support group. It will help you get counselling and comfort from other people dealing with their own loss/es. Still a mum is a great place to get help.
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As we continue to honor the Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month, let's talk about the length of the gestation period verses the intensity of grief. A common misunderstanding about miscarriage is that a woman will experience less grief if she loses the baby early in her pregnancy. But most researchers have not been able to find an association between the length of gestation and intensity of grief, anxiety or depression. A woman who has lost her child at 11 weeks may be as distraught as a woman who has lost her child at 20 weeks. The gestation period doesn't affect the intensity of grief. Grief is personal and unique. Your emotions are valid despite the period you carried the pregnancy. It's okay to grieve! #Pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #StillAMum

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  • Getting Closure-It's tough to move on emotionally without some sort of event or act that signifies the end of the mourning phase. There isn't a wrong or right way to get closure. The most important thing to remember is how you get closure could be completely different from anyone else, and not to compare. Give yourself permission to do anything and everything in between, depending on what feels right for you.
  • Trying again- The time between a miscarriage and trying to conceive again depends on physical (under your OB's care) and emotional factors. Psychologically, there's no set number of months. If your healthcare giver gives you the green light, then you're good to go.

About The Author

Author
Maureen Kasuku

Maureen is our resident cat lady and Beyoncé stan. She writes about spas, brunch and ballet recitals but has never been to any. Moonlights as a social justice activist in her spare time. She knows things and is obnoxiously opinionated on the internet but not in real life

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