Henry Cavill, who is slated to be the next Superman in 2012's Man Of Steel, stars as Theseus a Helenic Greek man raised by a single mother and trained in the ways of combat by Zeus himself. He carries the burden of not only being the poster boy for the consequences of gym addiction, a role once coveted by Gerald Butler in 300, but he is also tasked with the responsibility of being mankind's sole savior from impending doom.
Mickey Rourke stars as King Hyperion. After watching his wife and child die slowly to illness he loses his mind and wages war on the gods and all who worship them. In all fairness, the king pleaded with the gods for help through prayer but the gods never came. So he sets off an insidious plan is to release the Titans from their prison under Mt. Tartarus.
As mythology goes (the movie version), Titans and the gods (the immortals) realized they could not be killed by anything except each other and decided to fight for supremacy. After a ruthless war in the skies, the gods vanquished the Titans to a prison under a Mt. Tartarus and moved on to enjoying the good life up on Mount Olympus, where they could lavish in wearing shiny golden clothing and watching the reality show called "EARTH".
However, Hyperion's crazy scheme to release their ancient foe is just the motivation they needed to come down to earth and begin meddling in the affairs of mortals. But wait! Zeus has placed a deadly law on the gods. Any god who aids man as a god will be dealt a terminal blow. This is a lesson his own son Apollo learns after saving Theseus from Hyperion's forces.
The movie echoes a recent Hollywood trend of sacrificing plotline for special effects. The rushed story gives the impression that even director Tarsem Singh himself was thinking "Come on, let's finish this already!" In addition, for an "action epic" it is a very chatty movie. Even the sex scene was full of unnecessary dialogue and not the acceptable type of sex chatter witnessed between Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell in Four Weddings and A Funeral. In fact, most of the violence seemed to come from Hyperion against his own men, who he kept executing in most of his scenes.
The Immortals is just 2011's version of 2010's Clash of The Titans. Yet another highly anticipated movie which falls desperately short of expectations. However, if you are a fan of Henry Cavill or Mickey Rourke you can go count the minutes of their on-screen appearances. Otherwise, just wait for the DVD release so that you can rent it and give it back immediately to express your disapproval.

By Andrew Onyango